Rae's Back!

Hahaha.. It's been awhile I have been posting up blog. Perhaps, it's the time and passion factor! I only blog when ever needed. I strongly needed it for now.


Now, am in semester 5 postings. Labour ward?? Tell me about it. Hahaha... it's the BEST EVER! seriously, honestly i indeed enjoyed my time. Despite starvation and thirst, i loved it. On the first day, 2pm sharp I reported myself to the Labour ward, there was a labour going on too. That was my very first Delivery experience. Initially, I don't know what to expect, I was kinda blur but excited too. I felt my peripherals were cold, heart palpitated really fast, legs are shaken by the chills in my body. I salutes these moms and including all moms in the world who gone through this stage of life, LABOUR ACTIVE PHASE!


Imagine you wake up in the morning at 4 am, felt strong contractions over your belly and guess what? ooopppsss.. I think my water broke. I think I am going to give birth. Actually that's just the beginning. Our impression, water broke means time of birth. However, there's still more to wait. Every mom with water broke, still have to wait for cervical dilation. And every centimetres takes about an hour. Total full dilation is 10 cm. So, perhaps 10 hours at least! If fortunate, might be earlier. If unfortunate, later then. :) Mom who thinks they gonna deliver wouldn't have appetite to eat neither to drink. Meanwhile, they also have to NPO ( nil per oral). That made them weaker and more lethargic. Every 10 mins, contractions maybe mild or severe for at least 2- 4 times. Once severe, it feels like your belly hardening and you'll feel like you're gonna have a bad bad constipation. (bearing down feeling) . 10 hours plus of waiting, 10 mins every contraction, mommy, you surely very tired right? That's so TRUE. During delivery, the head is the biggest circumference for expulsion. Moms need to really take deep breath, and push in one strength! One strength! And it's really tough. Once baby's head is out, no worries. It would be easier then. Some mom will just fall asleep or faint because of extreme fatigue.


Hey guys, this experience I shared it's not to scare your heart out but to share with you guys how important to treasure our moms. They may say it's painful, and it's seriously indeed painful from the back of the spine!! They resisted the pain for us to make sure we step into this world and to feel the world, to experience the colours of the world. Why women have to suffer so much? Man also have to suffer to earn the living! God has a planned for every man and woman. Instead of complaining of troubles and problems, learn to submit our difficulties unto Him. Only by faith through Lord Jesus Christ! When mom holds a baby, love starts overflowing and joy filled in the air. Just like how Jesus hold us, we are filled with the Holy Spirit in us and in the covering of God.


May the Lord continue bless those blessed moms and babies. You're indeed the child of God. Jesus is the same Today, Yesterday and Forever!


Rae smiling out!

Reminiscence of Nurses Day

Ah.haha.. it's kinda late to post up blog about nurses day. just recap, it's just a reminder to appreciate the nurses and to allow nurses to reflect on themselves too.. :) simple & sweet. the day was so huge. all of us went through the hassle of preparation despite having assignments and clinical areas. our shifts are different yet we still made time to get together to get things settled. I believe by God's grace, He has grant us strength and wisdom to plan and guess what? it went so well that I just wanna tear. the decoration was awesome, roses were dying yet still surviving. some even was "wounded" with micropore. Haha! Nurses best friend quoted Calvin Tie. The banner, the back drop, balloons, and kolam too. Many was attracted towards the kolam. It was really a big day for us. We had many VIPs and even our perceptors. Puan Kasma, our baju melayu and baju kedah sponsor. She might be thinking of opening a boutique. *who knows, heheheee* Till now, i still cherish the joy and happiness we shared among ourselves. we are also happy that other batches join us to make the event more merrier. the sweat is worth it. in everything, give thanks. :) sliding photos..... ^__^

You're BEAUTIFUL!

the making of KOLAM ^^

yummy cake from Prof. Peter

My dearest NU108

We are Nurses!

Pure Submission

What causes fights and quarrels among you? 
Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?
You want something but don't get it. 
You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. 
You quarrel and fight. 
You do not have, because you do not ask God.
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.


You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God?
Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely. 
But he gives us more grace. That is why the Scriptures says:
"God opposes the PROUD but gives GRACE to the HUMBLE.


Submit yourselves, then to God. 
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Come near to God and he will come near to you.
Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you DOUBLE-MINDED.
Grieve, mourn and wail.
Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. 


Brothers, do not slander one another.
Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. 
When you judges the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgement on it. 
There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy.
But you- who are you to judge your neighbour?


I read this chapter and made me realised how important is submission towards God. taken from James chapter 4

God is Here

I was reading through three subjects; haemopoietic, endocrine and community health, really placed my brain into 'clotting moments'. My hands are tremor-ing, heart is palpitating, left eye is twitching, mind is tiring out, emotions storing in limbic system and crying out loud, "EOS 4 is killing me". I am supposed to finish the remainings of haemopoetic, well am trying to... :( isn't easy you know to be a nursing student? hahaha..but God is merciful to me. He has walked me through this valley of darkness and shines His Light upon me to see the fullness of life. Just wanna the Holy Spirit to fill up my life with wondorous love, peace and joy. Amen. Amen. Amen. I went through my album collections and found Abundant Life in England. Hmmm.. I didn't download it so I was wondering what were the songs inside. Found this powerful song... keep pushing on, Rae!

In Your presence there is fullness of life
Healing flowing for body soul and mind
God of the impossible, God of miracles is here

God is here let the broken-hearted rejoice
God is here let the sick say I am well
God is here let the weak say I am strong
God is here

In Your presence there is perfect peace
And in stillness I behold Your deity
God of wonders, God of power is here

His wonders to perform

Oh His wonders yes His wonders
His wonders to perform
Oh His wonders yes His wonders
His wonders to perform

The End is the Beginning

Finally, am done with sem 4 hospital attachment. Been through all kinds of circumstances and obstacles. i had learnt the greatest experience and grasped the best knowledge. Well, the key of success is being humble and teachable. it's hard when someone tries to stand up for what they think is correct but it isn't. it's just plain ego. rather hard to see patient who has to suffer so much. but tried our best and that's all we can do. a bin of stress and a cup of relaxation? i wish for serenity and peace. imagine? climbing up to the highest summit of the mountain, walking along the greeneries, staring at the high clouds, appreciating the nature's beauty, breathing through the fresh breeze and chatting with your loved ones on the peak? Such a beautiful date... :) it only happens within my wild imagination. :P


today, it's the final day. went out with friends for karaoke. They sang some chinese songs. Banana won't understand a thing. just can be a bad back-up singer. :p heeeee.. i sang a few songs like The Climb, It's My Life and I don't wanna Miss A thing! Wow.. love these songs. really made me sing my lungs out. I felt so much relieved after despite knowing i will be down with sore throat. two days back, i was down with H1N1 vaccination side effects. had muscle ache and swelling, full body ache and fever. i felt chilly on the outside and hot on the inside. couldn't sleep till 2 am. took 2 paracetamol and felt better after an hour or two. Thank God. then, we played badminton. wow.. it has been ages i have not touch badminton racket. today reminds me during my school days. really miss my frens and the fun we had.


came back home and saw the house is so dirty. everyone has gone home. started spring cleaning. clean here, clean there. i would not let GO a single speck of dust or dirt. heheee... when it's done, am so satisfied. Thank God for the strength You've given unto me. without you, am nothing. Well, posting ended. have to look forward for finals, EOS 4~ all the best to my batchmates and those who are going for exams soon too. May the Lord grant you all wisdom, knowledge and understanding during your exams. Amen.


Rae tiring out...

Complete in You

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice, my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
And I will be complete in You.

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord.
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
And by faith, I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day,
And I will be complete in..

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears.

Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And I pray I will hold on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in
I will be complete in
I will be complete in You

Reach homes with a smile

Well, am still in surgical ward. 3 more weeks of posting + review week = EOS 4. I haven't studied much tho. I felt much satisfied with what i have done for my patient. Mr. T has been bedridden for a month and yet to move any of his upper and lower limbs. On the first day in surgical, me and calvin did bed bath for him. Honestly, we're quite rough though. Maybe that's what happens when we're in uniform. We just wanna see him get up and walk. it's pointless to see him bedridden for long. won't do any good to him too. we always ask him to move his limbs even he complained of pain and his uncomfortable facial grimaces. Not that i don't care about his pain, but i care more about his mobility. After days of so called "rehab", finally he is able to go toilet for bath. seriously, i feel great and glad that he finally took the steps to move out oh his "rehab" boundaries. He also was on ryle's tube for a month, and i encouraged him to have it orally. Yes! He did it. And today I get him to eat bread and milk. At first, staff nurse hesitated, but i insisted that he can eat soft food. Yes! he did it again! I have been seeing improvement in him day by day. Only hope can bring joy into our lives. happy is temporarily but joy is forever. that's was the day. Then, i reached my temporary home with a smile and joy of satisfaction.


I left my hp at home and look into my phone. 2 missed calls and 1 message received. All of it from dad. I guess he has something urgent. it was. "Grand uncle passed away this morning". I quickly called back. dad seems relieved. We were worried before. Cos we just met him during chinese new year and we're planning to visit him again. But it's too late. He was in pain and weak. He went into coma this morning before he left peacefully into the arms of the Lord. We ministered to him in malacca during cny and assured him about his salvation. My feelings are numb but i know he is safe now. Aunt Magdalene told dad that he smiled and held her hand before he left. they also prayed with him the sinner's prayer before he breathe the last breath. He reached his eternal home with a smile and assurance of salvation.


Father in Heaven, thank you for grace and mercies you pour out unto us who are once sinners. every sin that i made, i confess and repent. help me to learn more about you and help me to be teachable. Let your light resemblance onto me. recognise me as your child, Lord. remember me, Lord. teach me to do only Your will, Father. In Jesus name, amen

Back from hectic ward to comfortable home!

Finished outpatient department and now on surgical ward. Hmmm, kinda stress at some point in surgical ward. I had a patient who needed trachy suctioning, trachy dressing, bed bath, sacral dressing at the same time. Wow... really made me work like mad. I kept sweating till I had eczema on my skin. Too sensitive skin edi. Pimples keep poping up too. I told koh koh about my pimples popping. Obviously, surely about water, food and environment factors la! Hahahaa... i did reduce on protein cause it's kinda expensive to have meat in my meal. perhaps, once a while its okay la. even koh said eat more protein. then, i managed to do removal of stapler after laparotomy! finally! I am so happy! I have been waiting since semester 2, didn't had the chance but now, fuh.... hehehee... But i did it with a traditional stapler remover which hurts my fingers. I have to use both hands to remove the staplers at the abdomen. I think I was kinda improffesional in a way.. But no other options.. I was really sweating badly till joan has to wipe my sweat for me. Felt like am in OT pulak. hahahaha...

Anyway, am back home.. relax and chill.. taught my younger brother, brought him to the playground, fed him with my very own cooking.. hehee... Wanna see photos?

This is my very own mashed potatoes balls with spring onion. I don't know why I made it, but I just make it. XD I didn't get to make the sauce cos there's no mushroom. After making into balls, I steamed for awhile.. Daddy loves potatoes so he ate 1/2 of it. ^^

This is spicy, sweet and sour tomatoes chicken with prawn. I guess it's too red. But it isn't so spicy cos red chillies are so mild. Should've use chili padi, but daddy can't take it. Hehee.. :)

This is steamed egg with spring onion and red chillies. It's a bit too salty due to my coordination faulty. Hahaha.. Like kiam egg edi..

Tada! Adriel's favourite dish. Stir fry spinach with anchovies and prawn. Mum and Julia loves prawn. Me too actually. Just simply add in. Quite cheap though. Went to Giant and got RM9 per kg. Worth it!

The vegetable that will make you fart. That's why colostomy patient have to eat less of it. :) That's the final dish. I forgot about my wan tan soup... it's ok lar..

I told koh koh that I cooked today. He asked me to send it over. Hahahaha.. all the way to segamat mea..he must be drooling when i told him. =P

Till then...

The Climb'10th April 2010

The day starts with a cats and dogs showering over the Seremban town. We've longing to climb mountain with rain and our wish has been granted. In fact, we thought Jelebu is the driest land ever in Malaysia. I doubt the fact whether it was dry cos it was raining pretty heavily too. Thankfully we have the pros with us, the so called mountainers..hahahaa... They are at the age of 60s, guess what? They are really highly stamina and good in climbing. Uncle Lai has been with me most of the time. I was in the first batch but I was too caught in my own world looking and kpc-ing around with the scenery. Hahaha.. I am left behind again.. :( but it's ok..I wish I had my camera with me, but aawww... Just hope it stays in my mind.. Then, Uncle Lai stayed with me even though I am slow. I guess that's how a mountainers should be. Supporting and encouraging the beginners. So far I climbed 2 mountains before Gunung Angsi which was Klang Gates and Gunung Datok. Uncle Lai said Gunung Datok is the toughest of all as it has a lot of rocks and slippery ground. Tell me about it? I fell on my bumps quite a number of times and with leeches crawling on my skin. However, Gunung Angsi is not as challenging but it has lots of great scenery though.

I seen beautiful yellow flowers, green fruits on the ground, ling zhi mushrooms, orangy oyster mushroom and some weird mushroom grows in row on the branches.. I just can't describe the beauty of God's creation. When I was in my thoughts, how I wish I could have a in built rainforest surrounding my dream home. Well, there's sure lots of mosquitoes but I think it would be nice. Even a just a garden, it's also sufficient. This reminds me of the security we find ourselves with God and heaven. Just like Psalm 23. You'll have peace and light glow in our resemblance. Michelle did took some photos, I just hope I get to see it soon.. Hehehee...

I also got bitten by a leech when I reached the summit. Hahahaha..it bite my ankle area, it keeps bleeding and bleeding. Nothing I can't do to stop the bleeding. I just felt an itch and it just bleed... Then, my batchmates were teasing me that I need "blood transfusion", "it's emergency". Michelle also got one too. Uncle said, just one bite and 9 nurses looking into it. Hahahaha..XD I guess that's how nurses are. We start swabbing our wound with alcohol swabs and plastering it. :)

Soon after that, we went down and surprisingly I didn't fell on my bumps this time. Maybe because of my shoes with a better grip. heheee... thank God, my shoes are not spoiled. It shows I bought the right shoes. :) fuh....Then, we proceed to makan time and I had duck rice, cost me only RM3! I chuak there... the lady has to repeat herself RM3 gal... I didn't expect it can be that cheap ma.. Who knows? Prices are raising up right? I am kinda cheapo in handling my savings now. Gonna pokai if I don't control myself. :P

It chills~~ *winks*

My Beloved tour guide~ :)

Then, to Hutan Lipur Jeram Toi for waterfall! wow... really chills your nerves up wei... it was my second time going to waterfall. The first time was in Bekuk, Johor. That time I was supposed to do my biology project during my form 6. I think Bekuk is better cos the water and air is cleaner and fresher. Jeram Toi is rather polluted and the people loves to smoke. Haih.. I develop skin rash right after that... I still get into the water though I can't swim and have sensitive skin. It's fun!!! Not sure when can I experience this again. After all the adventures, I realised I really like adventure and hard core stuff. Not the kind of girl who loves make up and fashion. Hmmmmpppmmh.. Just glad and happy to be Myself that God has created me as ME. Heheeee.

Rae checking out~~~~~

A thought that comes

A shout out for my long lost friend,
Glad and happy you have found the one who will spend the rest of her life with you. God has blessed you with wonderful grace and mercies. Life is just once on earth and the rest we place it in heaven. Bad things will come to an end as you place your trust in His name. As you embark yourself towards greater journey, allow Him to guide your pathways and lead you the choice you made. There is no rewinding but forwarding... Love endures forever~~~

Malacca Trip'15th March 2010

Great day indeed. Well, I guess I gained pretty lots of weight since I am in Seremban. I created my own instant food yet it's healthy for my meals. Am surprised that I am back on cooking. Heheee... Most importantly, CINCALUK! Duh.. quoted by Maria Ng Sau Sim.. Just enjoyed being with her and her "duh" all the time. Hahahaha!! What did I cook?

Ingredients:
Chopped garlic
Spring onion (as u wish)
A few slice of cabbage
White oyster mushroom
Anchovies
Tang Hoon
Egg (as preferred)
Dried fucuk
Cincaluk

This is how it goes.. Mummy said I have to soak the tang hoon with hot water for about 10 minutes so that it won't stick to each other and allow it to expand. Then, I stirred fry all the ingredient together with cincaluk. Add some water to make it likea soup or gravy. Add the soaked tang hoon into the wok and let it stew for awhile. Put the egg at last if u want it to be in shaped or half-cooked. I love half-cooked yolk. Hehehe..... Though some may think it's smells like sulfur! hahaha.. TADA! That's it. As usual, I always cook for two people because of my poor estimation. I shared with maria, malathi, prav and vale and they said it's really nice. :) Maria even said I can be a good mum someday. SOLI, no photos cos my camera isn't with me. But I guess u can try it out, and  you can see results then.

Below are the photos when I am on Malacca Jom Makan:

You! Boom-cha! XD

Melaka River

Makan time in Portugese Settlement. We had so called lala but for portugese, it's Lala is Oyster! Then, we had portugese baked sting ray, chilli crab, kailan and butter scallops. Yum Yum~~~

Till then... So long... Just keep eating.. Just keep eating.. heheee..

Eye & ENT

It has been a week am posted in Tuanku Ja'afar, Seremban. It is quite interesting and exciting for a new start though. Basically not many cases but mostly are cataract, glaucoma, corneal ulcer and such. The patients here are also friendly and teachable. I am in the same group with hooi ting, joan and calvin. Hahahaa XD... I am with Calvin for 3 semesters! Wow.... Why ah?? hmmmm... (360 degrees). I enjoyed working with them so far. I feel so much happier and joyful being with them. With the lame jokes and teasing each other in the ward. And even patients smile when seeing us smiling. I guess that's how it should be in the ward. NEVER allow them to have "papaya" faces. They gotta be encouraged and that's what NURSES should do! I learnt a lot from how the patient look, act and behave in front of me. I am glad they like us and enjoyed our company. Heheeee... It's definitely a PLUS you know?

One day, I picked up a call from the anaesthetic  doctor and was slightly harsh towards me. Maybe I introduced myself a student nurse so maybe that's the reason. Perhaps, they're rather busy and wouldn't wanna waste so much time. Jo and I started a joke, .: STUCK UP:. Well, it just between us only. It keeps on our mind to be humble and kind to people. Any moment Jo, Cal, HT or even myself tries to be perasan or unintentionally not humble, we'll just say to each other, "stuck up, ppl". Hahahaa... XD We will just laugh over it and remind ourselves to always be humble. As we humble ourselves, we can learn and be more teachable. Just like Dr. Sheila said in CF S'ban the other day about Be faithful in every little things. This is also mean that we appreciate every talent that God has blessed us with. So being teachable is also a gift. I am sure I wanna be teachable too. :)

That's what friends are for. To keep ourselves on the right track as they correct you. Friends who compromise does not help but put us into danger. I am glad for the people around me. God is really been good to me! :)

Embarked Into Needy Ones

This is rather a late post but gonna post it anyway. My lecturer arranged a wonderful visitation to the MAB and NKF. Hahaha.. just in case you don't know what is it, let me drop a little information into your neurons! :)
MAB stands for Malaysian Blind Association whereas NKF stands for National Kidney Foundation. Well, it was included in our lecture hours cos we're in semester 4 and we're studying Eye & ENT and Renal. As well as Integumentary, Haemopoietic and Endocrine. Hahahaha.. sorry for the medical jargon people! forgive me k. :)

We visited the place along with Ms. Kavitha and Ms. Inthira. We had a great time. We get to see the chief deputy of the organisation, Mr. Godfrey. He was really friendly and nice person. Through him, I have learned a lot about the blind and how much they have to go through in their life. Imagine we have eyes, but we see things that we shouldn't see and such? Teenagers nowadays are indulging into abusing their sight through unhealthy stuff. well, I wouldn't want to mention but I know everyone are aware about it. He was born prematurely and was given saturation oxygen. This has affect his sight and he has premature retinopathy. I would pity him at one moment, but another moment I could see his determination and strength that is in him. I know I shouldn't pity cos they wouldn't want us to think so too. He really live his life to the fullest. He is very successful person yet he still come back to MAB to serve them. *salutes*

Then, we visited a couple of places there. The IT center where they trained low vision people to learn to use the computer. Ah huh! The screen resolution was super duper big!!! I finally knew that there's people has low vision. When I was younger, I was always thought there's people with sight or no sight. I guess I'm rather too innocent. Hahahaha... XD Following that, we went to the social skills room. They teach them how to communicate and use Braille. Well, it's good for them cos they don't know how is like in the outside world. It is to prepare them mentally and physically before they live independently. Then, we went to the children center. I couldn't stand the tears in my heart seeing the children suffer so much. One of the child, Adam reminds me of Adriel. But Adriel is more fortunate than him. He couldn't see and hyperactive as well. However, he responds when I spoke to him. We seems to be able to cling together. I have a lot passion towards young minds like them. But one touches my heart is when I have to leave the place. Adam held my hand and wouldn't let me go. *sobs....* He touched the deepest part of my heart. But to make it no so obvious, I joked to his mum, "saya bawa Adam balik la k". His mum just smiled at my joke. I could see in her eyes the tough times she going through. I just pray that she will be comforted and watched over.

Hmmm... then we move along to the NKF. Nothing much cos not many patients and we're just allowed to visit for awhile and mainly just to see the machines! issshhh.. I thought I could spend some time with the patients and chit chat. Hahaha.. XD that's what I always do when I am in the ward. Especially when I have nothing to do! seriously, I would find something to do. I think that's why I also always work OT a lot.

Honestly, I have great experience learning through other people's experience. I like the way Calvin said. "hey, it's school trip time, prepare water tumbler k". It does reminds me when I was young, go for trips and learn something new. It was really great for a 22 year old like me. I will never admit old cos I will always want to have a young mind and heart. If Mr Godfrey can say 61 years old is young, so am I! heheeee.... :P

Marchiee Birthday~

Yesterday, my batchmates celebrated my birthday along with Maria and Eyvonne. It was a surprise cos I never expected. Hooi Ting just asked me whether I wanna go for dinner or not? But at the same time I wasn't really hungry. Then, she said I will be hungry after 3 hours. Hahaha.. She seems to know the physiological part of my tummy ooo.. Surprisingly, all of them came along for dinner except for Chucky. I had spicy grilled chicken chop + cucumber lime juice. I was checking my wallet just in case I have sufficient money to eat. We had a great time together and they also bought a cake for us the TRIO. Koh Koh gave me a camera and I did make full use out of it. hehee.. fortunately, I always carry it along with me.

Before, during and after were just photoshooting... I guess my interest towards photography has becoming deeper. :) Caryi even asked me to join the photography club to sharpen my skils.. hehee...:P

So called the "farmer's  family" quoted by Malathi XD

Mal and Prav with their portugese baked cheese chicken rice... (such a long name)

The Marchiee Trio

Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Maria, Eyvonne and Me... :)
Am just too happy that God has blessed me with great family and friends. I am truly blessed!

Well, after celebration we had our finale photo together.

Guess what? I got an "accidental prank" from my batchmates. Well, they didn't have intention to do it but it happens so naturally. At first, I walked to Hooi Ting car to get my umbrella. I was thinking I could follow Michelle's car to go back home. Hahahaha.. guess what? While I was walking back, Michelle started driving off. So I said to myself, it's okay. I can follow Hooi Ting's car then. But unfortunately, before I could say or do anything, Hooi Ting just drove pass me with a "bye" wave. (she didn't realised I was LEFT BEHIND). As usual with my blur state, I also waved back to her. Then, I realised I am LEFT BEHIND. So then I called Malathi and said, Oi, I am still here le! They all started laughing... At that moment I was thinking was it a prank on me? But I don't think they're such people la! :) So Malathi said she'll send someone to "save" me. hahahaaa..LOL... I was laughing to myself too. However, it wasn't for long till I see 3 big and fat rats in front of me. I wanted to scream but I just held it in. It was really huge man. I was thinking to take a picture but my camera battery ko edi. Michelle came and picked me up, and we're laughing non-stop in the car. XD

Honestly, it was the greatest unforgettable memory ever! 

Thanks to my dearest N108! I love you guys. You guys pops and rocks~ *group hugs*

Sincerely from the deepest down of Rae's heart~

My Love

Jesus, my Love

Unto my soul, I commend..

 the love that is in Jesus

Unto my spirit, I sing...

 the love that is in Him.

Put a ring into my finger ...says the bride
put your hands onto my palms... says the bridegroom

And feel the pierced hands

and know that I always loved you .

Blessed Birthday to ADRI-RACH-EL

Yea! It's Adriel's birthday sharp at 1200 hr today. However, we celebrated his birthday along with mine even though it's slightly earlier by two days. At least we can save cost on cakes and I'll be in BJ during that time. It was really great. Daddy took all of us to sunway pyramid to get our birthday gifts. Dad is a practical person, he won't simply buy gifts for us. He enjoys watching us shopping for what we want and likes. heheeee... So we took Adriel to get his shoes in Jusco. Hmmm.. it was a Pallas casual shoes. It was rather cute and suitable for him. Why? :p heheee.. cos it's HEAVY, then he can't be so hyperactive lor. It was my idea but it was chosen by mom and dad. Adriel likes it too. That means I like it too. :) I was thinking of taking photo of it but camera out of battery. oooppsss....

Then, we proceed our journey for my birthday gift. I told dad it's okay that he don't need to get me anything. but he insisted cos he said once a while only k. It's not always daddy buy things for you. Come, I get shoes for you too. Honestly, I got too many pairs of shoes, but dad insisted. So, okay lor. Heheee... We went to Jusco, couldn't find the right size. I like the white heels so much. Oh well, my feet was too big for the shoes. So I couldn't get it lor. So we walked till we reached a shop named Padini Concept Store. Ah huh, a person like me who never go to big complexes to shop for shoes one. All I get are from small shoes shop or BATA, Buy And Throw Away. hahahaa XD old lame jokes! I didn't really like those heels at first. For two reason, it wasn't comfortable and expensive. I am well-known over my stingy-ness. Hahahaaa.. It's God's money and not my money so I am accountable over the things that I spent. Then, daddy has a good taste and he saw a heels which quite suits me. He said it looks nice on me. So I tried and tried to wear it. I couldn't. Then, one of the promoter who is a GUY tied the string of the shoes for me. One moment, I felt like Cinderella but I was too shy to look up so I just allow him. Dad was there looking and I guess he didn't mind. I think I took quite long till the promoter tired of serving me. Am just too fussy. :p But finally I got it. Hmmm... with 10% discount. It wasn't really bad tho. That was my birthday-shopping day. Then, we get our birthday cake lor! That's the most important thing to end everything well. Heheheeee... And Koh koh gave me an Olympus digital camera. I have been wanting it so much. Even though I paid half of it, I am still happy!!! *hugs* Thanks, Koh! Thanks, Kay Teck for the advanced gift. I like it so much. :)

ADRI-RACH-EL Birthday Cake

Till then. Heavenly Father, I wanna thank you for loving me so much these years. Thank you for guiding my paths and making my paths straight. No matter what has happened or occured in my life, You have taught me so much. Even to the deepest sadest pit of my life, You saved me up from the pit. I have been going through so much but I will continue to go through it no matter how hard or tough. Cos I know it'll be according to Your will. Daddy asked me how is that I can still be strong even though so many times I have been hurt and disappointed? Simple, all by God's grace. He has carried me through all circumstances. I may cry more than a thousand times, but Jesus has cry more agony than I do. Daddy and mommy said that they will always support and encourage me. I have learnt the best part of life that is to be my parent's pet or friend. Now I that I know I can share with them anything from A to Z cos I know they understands me more than anyone else. I am also glad they know everything! I am so relieved... Thank you, Jesus for the courage You've given me. There's no such thing as generation gaps, teens. You just got to make something good out of it. This 22th birthday of mine is memorable and allows me to step out with greater spiritual maturity. The greatest birthday gift of all is God's First Love for me and I just wanna keep loving Him. I have nothing more to complain or ask. His saving grace is sufficient for me. :)) Thank you, God and everybody~

Dearest Baby

I dedicate this to dearest one who has been been with me for almost 7 years. You're so cute, adorable, gentle and kind hearted. God has blessed us such a wonderful person into our lives. You have been our dearest of the dearest of all. His favourite nursery rhymes are especially Old Macdonald and Twinkle twinkle little star. Every time I try to sing Old Macdonald, he will put his finger on my mouth. Perhaps, I sang it very badly. But when I sing twinkle twinkle little star, he'll fall asleep in my arms. How sweet is he? :)
He also loves Veggie Tales and grown up with it since born. I uploaded a the song of the Cebu, his favourite one into my phone. At least I can watch it when I am not at home. I let him watch it whenever he is unhappy or just to make him more happy. Sometimes, he'll try to dig into my handbag or pocket  for my phone just to watch it. He's so cute.



Adriel, Your birthday is this coming February 28th. God has blessed daddy and mommy with your wonderful existence. Your birth has taught us how to live better to like Christ. He has taught us to live stronger day by day, He has said lean not unto our own understanding  but to rest in Him. He has shown us wonderful love, grace and mercies upon our lives. Some have put us down or discouraged us, but we'll never give up. All because you're the dearest of the dearest child of God. You're so special in the eyes of the Lord, You're unique in the image of God, You're safe in the hands of the Lord. He has created you to shine His glory to tell the world that all things are possible through Him. Circumstances that brought us down but we'll NEVER  proclaim impossible. We believe that you're healed, little baby. Don't give up, baby. You may not be able to express out your deepest desires or feelings, God knows everything about you even the number of your hair. He has also taught us to appreciate every little little things that He has blessed us with. Even a simple "hi or bye' from you means so much to us.

Little baby, Jie really proud of you because you've improved a lot by God's grace. Every time you say bye bye, I feel the joy in my heart. Jie will just shed tears but Jie has to control herself. :) Jie is sorry for not spending so much time with baby cos Jie always busy with uni work. But Jie wants to tell you that Jie Jie loves you so much, baby. You're a treasure in our hearts. When Jie has the time, Jie will take care of you always. Little baby, you have grown up so much yet Jie still treat you like a baby. Jie is shedding tears while dedicating this little note to you. Jie pray someday when you can read ABC and words better, you can read this note aloud to me. For now, let God touch your spirit to understand our deepest desires. Daddy, mommy, Koh koh, Jie Jie, Yi Jie LOVE little Adriel always. However, Jesus Loves You more than anyone could. You know? You're name is Adriel Tan Yuet Yang. Adriel means follower of God. Yuet Yang means Little Lamb. Your a little lamb who will follow his shepherd.  Jesus is our Shepherd and He will always take care and protect you. :)

HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, LITTLE ADRIEL. 

*hugs and kisses from Jie*

Rae's Confession

God, I am sorry for all the sins that I have done. My dad and I are ruined because of all the mistakes. I have indulged in the things that does not glorify God. I have betrayed my own conscience to do the right thing. Both of us have come to realisation. Relationship based on sweet talk and intimacy doesn't work. I pray that both of us will be a better person in future. Despite of my ways, from Jonathan Goh to Kay Teck, I have learnt much from you. Would you forgive me? Thank you, Lord. You're so gracious and merciful to such sinner like me. You have taught me how to love a person wholeheartedly. But if its not your will, I will let it go, Father.

Dear Mr. Right, no matter what you've done to me or other girls, I forgive you cos the Lord first forgiven us. Till the day God affirms you're my Mr. Right, I will right here waiting for you. I wish one day I could know and see you in righteously way. I pray that God will reveal His answer to me. Well, I better be honest. Kay Teck, am not sure whether you're Mr. Right but I am sure of my feelings for you. I am starting to treasure the kindness and goodness of you. No matter what happened between us, I still believe God has greater things for me to experience and understand. Otherwise, you won't say "NO" to me. You said, "You see me just as a friend" I was insecure and afraid and worry for nothing. Indeed we weren't righteous before Him. Everything tumbled just like a building on a sand. Lord, if he is not the person, ERASE him off from my thoughts and mind. Let me forget who he is. It is not worth if it is not meant for me. God, you know better than and what's best for me. Lord, once I felt your peace within me and now too.

Kay Teck, you said, " you said you don't have feelings for me bot because chasing another girl or a girl likes, but because you wanna be closer to God". I hope that's the truth. Cos that just exactly the same reason Jonathan Goh gave me. Lord, I pray that You will help me discern what's right and what's wrong. I pray that I will not fall into the same pit again. Build my emotions and mental stability, Lord.

Rachel---

Beloved Siblings

Now it's 4.51am Malaysian Time. I am studying anemias and was too bored ler.. So this is what I did. Heheeee... I love my siblings ooo.. *hugs*

From left top: Koh Koh and me

From left bottom: Adriel and Julia

O Praise Him

Am not ashamed of the gospel~ gonna praise Him until the top of my lungs~ Lord, you're good that your love endures forever! Halleluya...Halleluyaaa... Amen!



Lord Jesus, I love You. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. Use me mightily. Touch the heart of Ah Kong and Ah Ma. Heal my granduncle in Your name, Jesus~ XOXO. :)

Same Age with Two Different Destinations

It was indeed the best time ever spending time with my family. We are united. Dad fetched Koh Koh from Muar and we enjoyed being together most of the time. However, I had done my very best to do what He desires me to do. I took the step of courage to pass the bible to ah kong. A first few times I was walking up and down to the kitchen. He was cleaning up some stuff in the kitchen and I wanted to help but he refused. So I tried giving him the bible with full expectation that he will accept it. But he didn't. Dad and Mom saw my expression. Dad was very worried that I'll be discouraged because of it. I wasn't discouraged but more likely being very sad. I really want ah kong to be saved. *sighs* He didn't say anything harsh to me yet he still smile at me. so I thought there's hope but nope. It was a beautiful smile from him. As a grandchild, I have never experience loving touch from my grandparents. Even dad's side has already gone. (I feeling like crying now) Dad and Mom asked me not to be sad and said that I have done my best. Maybe try again later. Keep praying k. Koh Koh said am very emotional. I guess so. I have been like that since I was born I think.

What I think about Ah Kong?
A hardworking person, quiet, sometimes fussy, caring and concern. I just prayed hard that one day Jesus will come and shine and touch his heart. Ah Kong, before you "shunned" me off, I just wanna say that Jesus Ai Ni. Ta hen xiang jing ni de xin. Ah Kong, wo men ye hen ai ni oh. He is Teochew but I can only speak Mandarin (thanks to my friends). Better than nothing right? heheheeee...

Today, we went visiting to dad's father's sister's son which is daddy's cousin, Uncle Daniel. We met up with Uncle Daniel's father. He is the late 70s about the same age as Ah Kong. He is diagnosed with end stage colon cancer. Well, all thanks to God that he is still surviving till today. The last time we met him was May last year. But he has grown a lot thinner and we spend the whole evening talking to him. As usual daddy always worried for people. He kept encouraging him to stay with Jesus and never give up. And always confess Jesus is our healer and redeemer. In the name of Jesus and by His stripes, we are healed. We got to believe in miracles. God has been very gracious to him and am glad he still never give up. He did say that he is bored of staying at home doing nothing. Hmmm.. nothing much we can do but to believe in Jesus. All things are possible for Him. Before we left, we prayed for him. I could see the wonderful smile on his face and he packed angpows for us too. He was really happy to see us. Dad said he will come and visit him again whenever we are free. Glad that he believe Jesus as his personal Lord and Saviour. All things will end good in Him.

I have learnt a lot about persistency in prayer. The "ASK=Ask, Seek and Knock" is the key of salvation and victory. We just gotta be more persistent and never give up or fail. Just keep hanging on and allow God to use us mightily to do His great things. The heart of seeking requires a humble and sincere heart. Humble and sincere just like how children thinks. That's all we need to reach out to Him. ^^

A note for Grandpa

As i was reading my chronic renal failure notes; suddenly, a thought came into my mind saying, "time has come, grandpa needs a bible". (really random) it wasn't audible to me but it was strongly my conscience. i have strong belief that it was the holy spirit speaking to me. at the same time, i was reading the book of revelation as part of my devotion. i really desire to know and wanna prepare myself to anticipate Jesus' second coming. as i was reading, i also remembered i heard once about the consequences of not being saved and not knowing Jesus. I read one of Mary K. Baxter book before when i was working in Salvation. seriously, it was scary to be in hell. our flesh will die but soul and spirit remains alive for eternity. those believe in Jesus will go to heaven but those who does not believe in him shall perish (torture and burn)  in hell forever. i really afraid that my grandparents will go to hell. i really don't want it to happen... T.T

last year, dad preached the gospel to them and they persecute him badly. but i could see his perseverance. i guessed Jesus was the same too. so this time i decided to obey the holy spirit and bought a chinese bible for grandpa. i shouldn't be afraid of persecution too. i also talked to dad and mom about it and he said, "do as what the Holy Spirit convicts you to do". Cos i know we're Christian, we will go heaven but faith without works is dead. it doesn't end till here. God has lots of things to be accomplished, the gospel shall be preached to all nation. Yea, i think that should be the way. it's rather a great challenge to me cos i rarely talked to ah kong. i don't really know how to speak my mother language which is hokkien and i am well-known for being a banana. however, i believe God will use me mightily to reach out to my loved ones. if am not mistaken, grandpa is already 86 or 87 years old. Continue to keep grandpa in prayers...

Thank You!

Dear my beloved friend-from-far-far-away, thanks for being there for me. Though obstacles has made us apart, God has brought us together. ^^

Monday blues

i had classes from 9-5 plus everyday. gosh, it's really tiring. i almost went into my dreamland after staring into presentation slides. my eyes were so tired and malathi said she can see my eyes are becoming blurry. i guessed i was really tired, not becos am sleepy but more likely am thinking too much. perhaps, rachel, you've to stop thinking so much and stay focus, girl. she kept tickling me to keep me awake, yea.. it was effective for a moment, then i was "fishing" again.. hahaha.. life in uni can't be like this! God has put me here and i have to stay focus. Yea! stay focus. don't you get it, rachel? i have developed pre-operative care for tmr's lecture. i hope it's good enough cos my mind seems can't focus. sighs.. what has happened to me? ahuh.. then, i watched a couple of hannah montana episodes to keep myself more entertained and relaxed. well, it worked for awhile but it reminds me a lot of memories especially the movie.

i miss memories that i had. just wish time would fade it away....

CNY Reunion Dinner (Daddy's side)

i had a great day today though I was having bad and irritable bowel. i have been visiting the toilet since morning till midnight. i guessed it must be the "nasi lemak" dad bought me for breakfast. it was rather awful and painful but bearable. why great day? cos i had a great DINNER & REUNION with my grandma, uncles, aunties and cousins. it has been a year ever since i met them. hmmm.. rarely catch up with them cos life's been busy with family issues and uni life ma. most of my cousins have really grown a lot and made me reflect over myself how much i have grown so far too... >.< sounds like am aging.. yea, kinda worried that i might age too fast. dad was given the honour to say grace and i was given the honour to eat. hahaha XD super lame... alright, let's start..

 

 

well, pictures said it all. too many to upload though. for more, check out my fb then. hehehee~~~however, tis is sufficient to cherish the joy and happiness i had with my big big family. heheee.. great reunion, great family, great fellowship and great food and mostly, we have a great God! ^^ thank you, Jesus! am so full and overwhelmed too.. till then...

My Personality

Mysterious... oftentimes..., a loner. You know your true friends and only them are allowed to understand the real you.

You hide your emotions... Sometimes pretending to be always happy. Sometimes, not giving even a hint of what you really feel.

You search for love... you’re a hopeless romantic and every time you enter a relationship, you give your all and believe “this is the One.”

You appreciate simple things in life... You hate complicating things that’s why you’re typically up-front in any aspect.

You’re a stubborn sweetheart... You “love” him/her only because he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble.

You’re undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because they know you will consider them.

You’re independent! You’re also risky just like the bajaken who sail in the vast and dangerous ocean to look for treasures!

Bits and Pieces Part 2

the new day has come, it's just the beginning. before the beginning, there's always the ending of the beginning of the beginning. hahahaa.. XD am crapping nonsense. not to be so serious tis time. more to resolute what i do, have done will do towards 2010.
i went to a home of people of various ages. i felt the compassion flowed through my heart. it was not from me but i noe God's love was in me. i always think how would Jesus looks like and such. compassionate eyes, gentle and pure heart, innocent lamb, persevere character.. how can i describe? indescribable i would say. ^^ i tot i would be fit into serving but God has not said a Yes to me. i wanna do something for God. just like in Romans 12 said. we offer ourselves as living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God as an act of worship. but i wonder and wonder.. what is my gift? what can I do? God revealed his Word to me. Romans 12: 6-8 says,

we have different gifts, according to the grace given us.
if a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith,
if it is serving, let him serve,
if it is teaching, let him teach,
if it is encouraging, let him encourage,
if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously,
if it is leadership, let him govern diligently,
if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

it was tis simple i guess. am i thinking too much? act of worship vary in its own way, it juz whether i can see in different angles. sometimes i do take things too literally. serving not necessary in church, but in what i do for people. in ways that i can help my family and frens. why think so hard, rachel? be simple and not weary. i came across one of Joyce Meyer's sermon online. hahaha.. am kinda addicted and hungry for God's Word. looking high and low for online sermons. trying to feed myself with "solid food". come on, am edi growing up. cant wait any longer. the time has come. Jesus is coming. gotta prepare ourselves. she talks about real love. what's Real Love? hmmm.. feeling? emotions? affections? no no no... it's temporary. but when actions comes in, it's for long. how do actions correlates with real love?

love is patient, love is kind,
it does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud, it is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs,
love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth,
it always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres,
love never fails
....now these there remains: faith, hope, love,
and love is the greatest...

i always tot i understood the true meaning of love. but i was not rightfully understood of it. no one can gain my trust easily unless he or she work it out, i always being negative, i remembers my past too often.. see? everything is "I". that's when am self-seeking. it should the other party or individual. i have learnt to understand love. it takes time to continue and persevere on. i will continue to study, study and study the true meaning of LOVE. it's not as simple as ABC. i wanna to love and to be loved. ^^ *shy* that's each and everyone's desire. but truly, only God's love can satisfy us. ^^ glad that am found by Him.
anyways, lets see what fruit of the spirit i have in my heart.. hehehe...
Love: i have learnt the true, true and true meaning of love. sometimes u might think u understood but u r not. think twice before being confident. XP

Peace: i have been through so many circumstances. peace of God surpasses all understanding n we noe we can rely on Him. being self-denial or avoiding the issue does not solve the problem, face it and u will find peace within it.

Joy: the greatest joy is being with my family, loved ones and friends. actually everyone whom i noe and maybe dont noe. nothing can compared to anything in this world. it's an unspeakable joy which God has blessed me. thanks to my dearest one. *.- heheee.

Longsuffering: only Jesus knows how real suffering and agony is like. mine little one is incomparable.

Kindness: gotta work it out more, reach out and spread the good news. share the love of Christ. continue!!!

Goodness: isn't it similar? -.-?? help those who are in need. i love that. hehehe

Faithfulness: remain faithful and cling on the Word of God for wisdom, strength and more. it will always fill us abundantly. faith will overcome the fear in us.

Gentleness: ahhha.. am still clumsy.. gotta work on it too.

Self-control: Lead me not into temptation, Father. let not my emotions to stir up my life. rachel, be not weary for I am with you.

hey, ppl..don't just read k. leave some comments. there's always room for improvement and encouragement.
my 2010 motto:

"a year that i shall not be in want"

till then.. will tell u more later about 2010 k. happy blessed new year!

rae out for milo break... ^^