The End is the Beginning

Finally, am done with sem 4 hospital attachment. Been through all kinds of circumstances and obstacles. i had learnt the greatest experience and grasped the best knowledge. Well, the key of success is being humble and teachable. it's hard when someone tries to stand up for what they think is correct but it isn't. it's just plain ego. rather hard to see patient who has to suffer so much. but tried our best and that's all we can do. a bin of stress and a cup of relaxation? i wish for serenity and peace. imagine? climbing up to the highest summit of the mountain, walking along the greeneries, staring at the high clouds, appreciating the nature's beauty, breathing through the fresh breeze and chatting with your loved ones on the peak? Such a beautiful date... :) it only happens within my wild imagination. :P


today, it's the final day. went out with friends for karaoke. They sang some chinese songs. Banana won't understand a thing. just can be a bad back-up singer. :p heeeee.. i sang a few songs like The Climb, It's My Life and I don't wanna Miss A thing! Wow.. love these songs. really made me sing my lungs out. I felt so much relieved after despite knowing i will be down with sore throat. two days back, i was down with H1N1 vaccination side effects. had muscle ache and swelling, full body ache and fever. i felt chilly on the outside and hot on the inside. couldn't sleep till 2 am. took 2 paracetamol and felt better after an hour or two. Thank God. then, we played badminton. wow.. it has been ages i have not touch badminton racket. today reminds me during my school days. really miss my frens and the fun we had.


came back home and saw the house is so dirty. everyone has gone home. started spring cleaning. clean here, clean there. i would not let GO a single speck of dust or dirt. heheee... when it's done, am so satisfied. Thank God for the strength You've given unto me. without you, am nothing. Well, posting ended. have to look forward for finals, EOS 4~ all the best to my batchmates and those who are going for exams soon too. May the Lord grant you all wisdom, knowledge and understanding during your exams. Amen.


Rae tiring out...

Bits and Pieces Part 2

the new day has come, it's just the beginning. before the beginning, there's always the ending of the beginning of the beginning. hahahaa.. XD am crapping nonsense. not to be so serious tis time. more to resolute what i do, have done will do towards 2010.
i went to a home of people of various ages. i felt the compassion flowed through my heart. it was not from me but i noe God's love was in me. i always think how would Jesus looks like and such. compassionate eyes, gentle and pure heart, innocent lamb, persevere character.. how can i describe? indescribable i would say. ^^ i tot i would be fit into serving but God has not said a Yes to me. i wanna do something for God. just like in Romans 12 said. we offer ourselves as living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God as an act of worship. but i wonder and wonder.. what is my gift? what can I do? God revealed his Word to me. Romans 12: 6-8 says,

we have different gifts, according to the grace given us.
if a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith,
if it is serving, let him serve,
if it is teaching, let him teach,
if it is encouraging, let him encourage,
if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously,
if it is leadership, let him govern diligently,
if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

it was tis simple i guess. am i thinking too much? act of worship vary in its own way, it juz whether i can see in different angles. sometimes i do take things too literally. serving not necessary in church, but in what i do for people. in ways that i can help my family and frens. why think so hard, rachel? be simple and not weary. i came across one of Joyce Meyer's sermon online. hahaha.. am kinda addicted and hungry for God's Word. looking high and low for online sermons. trying to feed myself with "solid food". come on, am edi growing up. cant wait any longer. the time has come. Jesus is coming. gotta prepare ourselves. she talks about real love. what's Real Love? hmmm.. feeling? emotions? affections? no no no... it's temporary. but when actions comes in, it's for long. how do actions correlates with real love?

love is patient, love is kind,
it does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud, it is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs,
love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth,
it always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres,
love never fails
....now these there remains: faith, hope, love,
and love is the greatest...

i always tot i understood the true meaning of love. but i was not rightfully understood of it. no one can gain my trust easily unless he or she work it out, i always being negative, i remembers my past too often.. see? everything is "I". that's when am self-seeking. it should the other party or individual. i have learnt to understand love. it takes time to continue and persevere on. i will continue to study, study and study the true meaning of LOVE. it's not as simple as ABC. i wanna to love and to be loved. ^^ *shy* that's each and everyone's desire. but truly, only God's love can satisfy us. ^^ glad that am found by Him.
anyways, lets see what fruit of the spirit i have in my heart.. hehehe...
Love: i have learnt the true, true and true meaning of love. sometimes u might think u understood but u r not. think twice before being confident. XP

Peace: i have been through so many circumstances. peace of God surpasses all understanding n we noe we can rely on Him. being self-denial or avoiding the issue does not solve the problem, face it and u will find peace within it.

Joy: the greatest joy is being with my family, loved ones and friends. actually everyone whom i noe and maybe dont noe. nothing can compared to anything in this world. it's an unspeakable joy which God has blessed me. thanks to my dearest one. *.- heheee.

Longsuffering: only Jesus knows how real suffering and agony is like. mine little one is incomparable.

Kindness: gotta work it out more, reach out and spread the good news. share the love of Christ. continue!!!

Goodness: isn't it similar? -.-?? help those who are in need. i love that. hehehe

Faithfulness: remain faithful and cling on the Word of God for wisdom, strength and more. it will always fill us abundantly. faith will overcome the fear in us.

Gentleness: ahhha.. am still clumsy.. gotta work on it too.

Self-control: Lead me not into temptation, Father. let not my emotions to stir up my life. rachel, be not weary for I am with you.

hey, ppl..don't just read k. leave some comments. there's always room for improvement and encouragement.
my 2010 motto:

"a year that i shall not be in want"

till then.. will tell u more later about 2010 k. happy blessed new year!

rae out for milo break... ^^

Bits and Pieces Part 1

Hehehe... Finally sem 3 has come to an end. I was yearning so much for a break after the stressful life in hospital. Gosh, it was really the most tiring sem ever despite I didn't study much though. hehe.. By God's grace, He let me thru this sem. Well, I don't really bother much about my grades cos I am really thankful for A PASS! It wasn't because am lazy or didn't put effort into studying, but more towards seeking for His presence. Once, I was reading the bible till I can't let go of it. Honestly, I don't know why but am sure God is working something in me. He revealed many things to me and He knows am ready to handle those circumstances. I began to understand more about the life and character of the people around me. He thought me how to stand firm and not to allow surroundings to affect my life.

Thoughts and Questions which strengthens me:

1. How do I read the bible if am so busy and worried about my studies?

I said, spending few moments or hours with God is timeless. He will lengthen the time without you realizing. You will realise that "busy" is just an excuse of a human nature, "worry" is a lie from the Satan to your flesh.

2. How can I bring my boyfriend who is a non-Christian to Christ?

This is the hardest one. I don't whether what I said will condemn the person but I can't lie to the holy spirit. I was praying that God will give wisdom and grace to give an answer. I said, in the bible we are not to be equally yoke with non-believers. I guess that answer has hit the person. God gives us the freedom to choose the right or wrong. If we choose our own pathways, He can't lead us towards His will. Light and darkness? can they have a relationship?

3. Why insecurity remains in our hearts? (it's mine own)

It's because am not sure what going to happen in future, I didn't hold on the promises of God, I didn't read the bible with conviction in my heart. God's word prevails every single bits and pieces of us and for us to prepare ourselves. Jesus came and established God's heavenly kingdom on Earth and died on the cross for our sins. He has went through all the pain, suffering and insecurity for us. I started to proclaim the name above all name, Jesus Christ! Through Him, my insecurity is gone! We have to believe in simple faith that God has brought healing to us before it happens. Faith is believing. My parents faith has thought me to be stronger.

On the Nov 30th, I was having difficulties in breathing and my chest became tighter and tighter. I was struggling and rolling on the bed wishing that it will go away. My faith was challenged at that moment. I felt being strangled and suffocated. The night was a nightmare to me. Tears was rolling down on my cheeks. Both of my hands was holding on my chest. Dad and mum started to pray for me. They didn't even think of sending me to the hospital cos their faith on God was really strong. They prayed in tongues and lay hands on me. At first, I didn't get well but I proclaim Jesus name in my heart, pray that it will go off. After some time, I began to be lethargic and tired. I rested and slept peacefully. Hallelujah~ Thank you Jesus!

This incident has thought me that God is preparing me for Greater Things. I am a MIRACLE !

4. What happens when someone asked, "What is Christmas?", the true reason for this season?

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His begotten son, whosoever believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. It's the celebration of the birth of Christ our Messiah (Saviour) and He came to redeem us from our sin and trangressions.

5. I have seen a believer falling away and backsliding... What should I do?

Honestly, I don't know what to do. He believed in Christ and started to turn his face away from Christ. This is a sign of crucifying Christ on the cross again. I could say am not strong enough but all I did was to encourage him whenever I can. I pray that he will open up his heart to Jesus and change with conviction. And to let go his past..

6. "I feel suffering and why I have to go through this?" said Uncle George

The Holy Spirit spoke to me, "Lay your hands and Pray for this man". My faith was weak and disobeyed the still small voice. I went back home with a deep thoughts in me why did I disobeyed the word of God. I questioned and condemned myself till the Word of God came alive in me. Jesus came not to condemn us but to redeem us from our sins. Then, I wrote a prayer and verse in Psalm 23 (wanna read with me? ^^)

the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want,

he makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul

he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake,

even though i walk,

through the valley of the shadow of death,

i will fear no evil,

for you are with me,

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me,

you prepare a table before me,

in the presence of my enemies,

you anoint my head with oil,

my cup overflows,

surely goodness and love will follow me,

all the days of my life,

and i will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I visited him and saw him still the same. He wasn't feeling any better. I reached out towards his hand and hand him a little note of Prayer and Psalm 23 in it. He open it up and said, thank you.. I could feel the sense of joy and happiness filled his spirit. He asked, "is this your hand writing? it looks like being printed out". I just smiled cos deep inside me, I was rejoicing silently. I have never seen his smile ever since I met him. It was great. Truly it was a BLESSING and the presence of the Lord was with me. He held my hand and was grateful. Jesus loves you, this you know.. Uncle, don't worry too much k cos God is with you. Get well soon and greater things is awaiting for you. ^.^God, continue to use me mightily and Your kingdom shall reign forever.

Till then...