i dunno what shd i do. i dunno whether am doing d right thing. honestly i start to feel like an idiot who acts everything is alright and its okay. in fact, am not.
i tried to be independent, not to rely much on my feelings and all. i still think am so weak and vulnerable. all d hurts that these guys did to me.
maybe i forgiven them, but why d pain still there? what have i done to deserve all this? maybe, its SIN....am so sinful yet i still dont realised d outcome of all these.
my heart weakened already...
am totally very sick of all these dramas, love, acts and all. I just want a simple life.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
:'(
I want to sleep but I can't... Having sleepless nights d... ICU really want me to see her daily ah?! Pls lah, am not a robot... my organs need rest...
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
tis day
my patient coded. I jz stood in cloudiness when I saw him in bradycardia. WHY??! >.< starting to feel stress... T.T I need encouragement...
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
A blessing in disguise.
One day, I called NKF of Cheras branch, but the sister in charge was not in. I decided not to wait cos I didn't have much time. Then, I called for NKF of PJ branch. They said it was alright for my colleagues and I to join them for or electives. I told my lecturer that PJ branch can accept us. I was like .......... FUH. I am thankful at least there was a place I could go for my electives. But guess what? My lecturer told me that Cheras branch was the one who accepted us instead. I was like......... AH? EH? How come? She thought I wanted Cheras branch all along. Anyway, I am still thankful for what He has given me.
Today, I went to NKF Cheras branch to meet with the sister-in charge. I saw this signboard named Charis NKF Cheras. "CHARIS" sounds familiar to me, but it doesn't ring a bell to me. Honestly, I didn't know what it meant. Not until I met the sister. She was an inspiring person to me. She shared loads of her experiences dealing with her dedication and passion towards nursing. Then, she asked, "Are you a Christian?". Wow! I just felt that God's presence was in our midst. My colleague and I are all Christians and we are in the House of God. It is indeed a blessing in disguise. In the beginning, it didn't come across my mind that actually the Lord wants me to serve Him in every ways and everywhere.
Sister Puncha said when you're doing this elective, do it unto the glory of God, do it to win souls for the Lord, do it as you want to have the reward in heaven, do it with prayer and meditation. I felt so relieved that I could do something not within my comfort zone anymore. I remembered of one discussion I had in class. There was a nurse who prayed for the patient was sued. Sister said being a Christian, it is not all about blessings, but to suffer for righteousness sake. Everytime you encounter a patient who are suffering and in pain, just manifest Jesus love You, and she said most of her patients are inspired by the work of the Lord through her. She also said whenever or if I felt that I am going to give up or laid back, always to remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Am thankful for the Lord's word upon me through her.
And CHARIS means GRACE. And definitely, only by God's grace, He gave me faith to continue this journey. I pray that I will be your servant who walks mightily and in righteousness to be a living testimony to all. All for the glory of God. May the Lord continues to bless and strengthens the works of Malaysian Care and Charis NKF to reach out the unsaved loved ones.
----rachel----
Today, I went to NKF Cheras branch to meet with the sister-in charge. I saw this signboard named Charis NKF Cheras. "CHARIS" sounds familiar to me, but it doesn't ring a bell to me. Honestly, I didn't know what it meant. Not until I met the sister. She was an inspiring person to me. She shared loads of her experiences dealing with her dedication and passion towards nursing. Then, she asked, "Are you a Christian?". Wow! I just felt that God's presence was in our midst. My colleague and I are all Christians and we are in the House of God. It is indeed a blessing in disguise. In the beginning, it didn't come across my mind that actually the Lord wants me to serve Him in every ways and everywhere.
Sister Puncha said when you're doing this elective, do it unto the glory of God, do it to win souls for the Lord, do it as you want to have the reward in heaven, do it with prayer and meditation. I felt so relieved that I could do something not within my comfort zone anymore. I remembered of one discussion I had in class. There was a nurse who prayed for the patient was sued. Sister said being a Christian, it is not all about blessings, but to suffer for righteousness sake. Everytime you encounter a patient who are suffering and in pain, just manifest Jesus love You, and she said most of her patients are inspired by the work of the Lord through her. She also said whenever or if I felt that I am going to give up or laid back, always to remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Am thankful for the Lord's word upon me through her.
And CHARIS means GRACE. And definitely, only by God's grace, He gave me faith to continue this journey. I pray that I will be your servant who walks mightily and in righteousness to be a living testimony to all. All for the glory of God. May the Lord continues to bless and strengthens the works of Malaysian Care and Charis NKF to reach out the unsaved loved ones.
----rachel----
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Bang!
The pursuit of courage has a limit.
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:11)
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:11)
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Be strong and courageous...
5 months passed...
It has been like that...
That either I should persevere on or let it go...
Koh said I should let go and move one.
Dad said I should wait patiently.
Mom said I make my own decision.
Lord said .... (still in silence, or am not still enough?)
My ego hurts me. I am not that type of person, but am becoming one. Keep praying for the Lord's deliverance upon me. This heart of pie just ache.
Unconsciously, I am waiting for something that is uncertain. So much faith that I have, not as much as how much Jesus have for me. Am just a sinner. Filthy sinner. Not worth it till Jesus first loved me. Forgive me, Lord.
Pray for perseverance, patience, strength and wisdom to continue this difficulties, Lord. T.T this heart hurts. Mend me. Mould me. Change my heart. I love all the people You have blessed me with. Give me the courage, Lord.
It has been like that...
That either I should persevere on or let it go...
Koh said I should let go and move one.
Dad said I should wait patiently.
Mom said I make my own decision.
Lord said .... (still in silence, or am not still enough?)
My ego hurts me. I am not that type of person, but am becoming one. Keep praying for the Lord's deliverance upon me. This heart of pie just ache.
Unconsciously, I am waiting for something that is uncertain. So much faith that I have, not as much as how much Jesus have for me. Am just a sinner. Filthy sinner. Not worth it till Jesus first loved me. Forgive me, Lord.
Pray for perseverance, patience, strength and wisdom to continue this difficulties, Lord. T.T this heart hurts. Mend me. Mould me. Change my heart. I love all the people You have blessed me with. Give me the courage, Lord.
How to love God?
>>> Daily, devote and undivided attention with growing devotion.
>>> To persevere, to give all self to Him.
>>> Express through devotion.
And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. (Acts 2:42 NKJV)
God loves every person, only those choose to be near Him that will experience him.
People who keep in touch with God daily are the one who relied on.
Prayer is a deepest expression to Jesus. There are depths in God's love that we can embrace. Grow in our devotion.
>>> To persevere, to give all self to Him.
>>> Express through devotion.
And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. (Acts 2:42 NKJV)
God loves every person, only those choose to be near Him that will experience him.
People who keep in touch with God daily are the one who relied on.
Prayer is a deepest expression to Jesus. There are depths in God's love that we can embrace. Grow in our devotion.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Must Listen to It !
The song that inspired me to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth. Also inspired me to play my guitar, but starting with simple chords of G, C, D. the Lord will guide me through if I prayerfully, purposefully, powerfully & patiently in living God's way. :)
Be Thou my vision, be Thou my joy
My providence and my reward
Be Thou the wisdom that I employ
To trade my worth for Yours
Be Thou my refuge, be Thou my strength
Should my confession err
My heart's sure whisper assuring then
And trust Your every word
Be Thou exalted
Be Thou exalted, Jesus, forever
Be Thou exalted, forever
Be Thou my passion, be Thou my zeal
That I may offer Thee
No great procession or vain appeal
But my sincerity
Hallelujah to the Name of all names
Hallelujah, to the God be all praise
Ever holy, worthy
Be Thou exalted, always
Monday, January 2, 2012
New year with new furnitures
Back into my pigeon hole. It's my hostel...!!! Well, still another 6 months before I leave this home. Stayed for almost 3 years d to be exact. Loads of pleasant and unpleasant memories. But I will always keep it in my heart. :)
this is my room, the bed with purple bedsheet is mine. :)
its all cleaned up!
haha, me and my stuff!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Distractions
Frustrating!
Frustrating!
Frustrating!
Feel noxious, stomach uneasy and heart ache! I know something is wrong but where went wrong? Is it my conscience? Is the Holy Spirit telling me something?
Whats wrong with me?
Frustrating!
Frustrating!
Feel noxious, stomach uneasy and heart ache! I know something is wrong but where went wrong? Is it my conscience? Is the Holy Spirit telling me something?
Whats wrong with me?
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