Exams ends... OSCE over... Results released... Clinical coming...
Ever since I stepped into the trough of semester 2, I never had a good rest. I kept crying to God asking Him to help me in my life in Uni. I still can't accept that I'm still in Uni. Time flies so fast that I wish time could just stop for a moment. I had many heavy subjects this semester which really drive me crazy most of the time. I felt so pressured as I am a scholar too. I have come to realization that studying hard is not enough. Just imagine??? I have lectures from 8.30am to 5.30 pm. Then, I continue with revision from 6.30 to 10pm. It's still not enough I guess. My performance for this semester wasn't as good as before edi. Perhaps, studying in the library doesn't work at all. But... I don't feel peace studying in Vista. Vista's environment is incomparable to home.
Almost everyday daddy called me to encourage me. Many times I feel like crying to him but I didn't. This is what happens;
Dad: Rachel, how's ur day today?
Me: Ok lar...
Dad: What abt studies?
Me: I Am studying.
Dad: Wanna go out somewhere?
Me: Do I have the time to take break? Exams are nearing and I have not finished studying.
Dad: You have to take a break don't you?
Me: I wish so, dad.. But I just can't. T.T *starting to cry in my heart*
Dad: Oh..ok it's up to you.
Me: Yeah, I had no choice.
Sighs.. I'm too stressed up at that moment.
1st paper for BMS was just average and I almost failed for 2nd paper. I didn't manage to answer Nutrition topics. After 2nd paper exams end, I called daddy. I cry again. I feel very disappointed of myself for not performing well. I thought I try my best but it wasn't enough. Is life has to be this tough? Am I for nursing? Dear Lord, lead me to the right path. This is just a portion.
As for Health Assessment, I became weak mentally and couldn't concentrate on the things that I should do. It was disasterous and in high risk. I practically spoil my whole precious paper. I really don't know what's going on with myself. T.T I feel so demotivated after my lecturer gave feedback on my paper. I disappointed her as well. I really feel sad about it. My spirit is so discouraged and starting to blame myself for not studying harder. I questioned myself, "How to be a NURSE if you're not sure what you're doing????" People may see me smiling and laughing..but deep in me, I'm crying and weeping for all the disappointment that I had for myself. At this moment, I just wished to be isolated and to be alone. But somehow, God just don't allow me to be alone.
*cries*
Well, I'm dreadfully "emo" now...
Ever since I stepped into the trough of semester 2, I never had a good rest. I kept crying to God asking Him to help me in my life in Uni. I still can't accept that I'm still in Uni. Time flies so fast that I wish time could just stop for a moment. I had many heavy subjects this semester which really drive me crazy most of the time. I felt so pressured as I am a scholar too. I have come to realization that studying hard is not enough. Just imagine??? I have lectures from 8.30am to 5.30 pm. Then, I continue with revision from 6.30 to 10pm. It's still not enough I guess. My performance for this semester wasn't as good as before edi. Perhaps, studying in the library doesn't work at all. But... I don't feel peace studying in Vista. Vista's environment is incomparable to home.
Almost everyday daddy called me to encourage me. Many times I feel like crying to him but I didn't. This is what happens;
Dad: Rachel, how's ur day today?
Me: Ok lar...
Dad: What abt studies?
Me: I Am studying.
Dad: Wanna go out somewhere?
Me: Do I have the time to take break? Exams are nearing and I have not finished studying.
Dad: You have to take a break don't you?
Me: I wish so, dad.. But I just can't. T.T *starting to cry in my heart*
Dad: Oh..ok it's up to you.
Me: Yeah, I had no choice.
Sighs.. I'm too stressed up at that moment.
1st paper for BMS was just average and I almost failed for 2nd paper. I didn't manage to answer Nutrition topics. After 2nd paper exams end, I called daddy. I cry again. I feel very disappointed of myself for not performing well. I thought I try my best but it wasn't enough. Is life has to be this tough? Am I for nursing? Dear Lord, lead me to the right path. This is just a portion.
As for Health Assessment, I became weak mentally and couldn't concentrate on the things that I should do. It was disasterous and in high risk. I practically spoil my whole precious paper. I really don't know what's going on with myself. T.T I feel so demotivated after my lecturer gave feedback on my paper. I disappointed her as well. I really feel sad about it. My spirit is so discouraged and starting to blame myself for not studying harder. I questioned myself, "How to be a NURSE if you're not sure what you're doing????" People may see me smiling and laughing..but deep in me, I'm crying and weeping for all the disappointment that I had for myself. At this moment, I just wished to be isolated and to be alone. But somehow, God just don't allow me to be alone.
*cries*
Well, I'm dreadfully "emo" now...
