Orange Steamed Cake

Ingredient A:

80 g caster sugar
60 ml squeezed orange juice
60 ml melted salted butter (room temperature)
2 egg yolks


Ingredients B:

Whipped soft peak 2 egg whites

Ingredients C:

Sieved all purpose flour
1/4 tsp baking powder

Mix A + B + C

Steam in high boiling water for 40 mins.

Consider it pure joy

It has been almost a year and half that I have been in this working industry. Those first time in everything have been a memory in my heart. I have learnt to be competent in my skills, patient in my behavior and less temperamental in my speech. First time seeing machines, colleagues, ICU/CCU, consultants and the challenges ahead of me. I was nervous. I can't describe how I actually feel. I felt my heart palpitated as if it is going to drop onto the floor. I know this is my world. God has His great plan and purpose to prosper me.

Today, 24/3/2014 - 1 year and 7 months and 10 days. In 5 months, I will be in the 2nd year of my serving this in line. It seemed far away, but I feel it is near. It is as near as it keeps me up and up with the pressure. Am I able to get through this? As 2 years kickstart, I need to decide whether I want to continue my studies or just settle with my current job. However, I couldn't see much of future in nursing when everyone picked their finger upon me. How would you feel when someone you loved so much kept worrying about you? How would you feel when someone you cared kept asking you decide for your future? I puzzled within my own thoughts whether should I continue nursing? Should I join venture in business with my dad? Should I join venture to build business with my brother? I have no background in business, know nothing about accounting, finance and etc. But somehow things just fall apart when I am indirectly still involved in business especially I had to take over dad's business including the latest Snug Vest. I can't generate good sales, thus I am very much involved in administration and management. Eventually, I thought should I take up MBA? Doing nursing have made me a robot as I am no longer involved in the family. My time are all spent up on my work and stress. I can't focus if I don't have enough sleep. I am worried if I don't rest, I won't perform up to the expectation and who knows I might make mistakes. And, this would be a deadly mistake if ever it happens. I tend to sleep at least 7 hours I hope just to compensate the depleted rest. However, my parents still complain. I know they care about my health. But what can I do? If I don't work hard, I won't be able to support the monthly allowance.

The pressure is rising upon me. Adriel began to have more autistic behaviours. Everyone can say "have faith". How? I began to doubt myself in my capability. What if Adriel doesn't get well and even deteriorate? How am I suppose to do? He is growing day by day. Oh God, speak to me. My relationship with elder brother have strained. One reason because he is so tied down by his job and career. He felt that I am not contributing much because I am earning less. I kinda felt that he has the same opinion as my parents. Not so keen into my career.

All these pressures that I am facing, I voiced out. However, it is pointless but it is another reasons for having excuses to be away from trials and tribulation. As said in James 1: 2-3; Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that testing of your faith produces perseverance. I have to remind myself this bible verse every now and then so that I do not lose faith and continue to fight with pure joy in my heart to the end. I have to stand firm in my faith to glorify God.

Feeling confused @@

1st...
2nd...

FOR THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT, do I need 3rd?

It's sounds impossible that he might be still come back. Just faking my own feelings. No matter how I turned my back against this feeling, it still haunts me.

my ranting

i dunno what shd i do. i dunno whether am doing d right thing. honestly i start to feel like an idiot who acts everything is alright and its okay. in fact, am not.

i tried to be independent,  not to rely much on my feelings and all. i still think am so weak and vulnerable. all d hurts that these guys did to me.

maybe i forgiven them, but why d pain still there? what have i done to deserve all this? maybe, its SIN....am so sinful yet i still dont realised d outcome of all these.

my heart weakened already...


am totally very sick of all these dramas, love, acts and all. I just want a simple life.

:'(

I want to sleep but I can't... Having sleepless nights d... ICU really want me to see her daily ah?! Pls lah, am not a robot... my organs need rest...

Jesus at the Centre of it All Israel Houghton & Micah Massey - Hillsong ...

tis day

my patient coded. I jz stood in cloudiness when I saw him in bradycardia. WHY??! >.< starting to feel stress... T.T I need encouragement...

A blessing in disguise.

One day, I called NKF of Cheras branch, but the sister in charge was not in. I decided not to wait cos I didn't have much time. Then, I called for NKF of PJ branch. They said it was alright for my colleagues and I to join them for or electives. I told my lecturer that PJ branch can accept us. I was like .......... FUH. I am thankful at least there was a place I could go for my electives. But guess what? My lecturer told me that Cheras branch was the one who accepted us instead. I was like......... AH? EH? How come? She thought I wanted Cheras branch all along. Anyway, I am still thankful for what He has given me.

Today, I went to NKF Cheras branch to meet with the sister-in charge. I saw this signboard named Charis NKF Cheras. "CHARIS" sounds familiar to me, but it doesn't ring a bell to me. Honestly, I didn't know what it meant. Not until I met the sister. She was an inspiring person to me. She shared loads of her experiences dealing with her dedication and passion towards nursing. Then, she asked, "Are you a Christian?". Wow! I just felt that God's presence was in our midst. My colleague and I are all Christians and we are in the House of God. It is indeed a blessing in disguise. In the beginning, it didn't come across my mind that actually the Lord wants me to serve Him in every ways and everywhere.

Sister Puncha said when you're doing this elective, do it unto the glory of God, do it to win souls for the Lord, do it as you want to have the reward in heaven, do it with prayer and meditation. I felt so relieved that I could do something not within my comfort zone anymore. I remembered of one discussion I had in class. There was a nurse who prayed for the patient was sued. Sister said being a Christian, it is not all about blessings, but to suffer for righteousness sake. Everytime you encounter a patient who are suffering and in pain, just manifest Jesus love You, and she said most of her patients are inspired by the work of the Lord through her. She also said whenever or if I felt that I am going to give up or laid back, always to remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Am thankful for the Lord's word upon me through her.

And CHARIS means GRACE. And definitely, only by God's grace, He gave me faith to continue this journey. I pray that I will be your servant who walks mightily and in righteousness to be a living testimony to all. All for the glory of God. May the Lord continues to bless and strengthens the works of Malaysian Care and Charis NKF to reach out the unsaved loved ones.


----rachel----

I am sorry

I don't mean it. Pls forgive me.

Blessed CNY

My new dress!

Bang!

The pursuit of courage has a limit.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:11)

Be strong and courageous...

5 months passed...

It has been like that...

That either I should persevere on or let it go...

Koh said I should let go and move one.
Dad said I should wait patiently.
Mom said I make my own decision.
Lord said .... (still in silence, or am not still enough?)

My ego hurts me. I am not that type of person, but am becoming one. Keep praying for the Lord's deliverance upon me. This heart of pie just ache.

Unconsciously, I am waiting for something that is uncertain. So much faith that I have, not as much as how much Jesus have for me. Am just a sinner. Filthy sinner. Not worth it till Jesus first loved me. Forgive me, Lord.

Pray for perseverance, patience, strength and wisdom to continue this difficulties, Lord. T.T this heart hurts. Mend me. Mould me. Change my heart. I love all the people You have blessed me with. Give me the courage, Lord.

How to love God?

>>> Daily, devote and undivided attention with growing devotion.

>>> To persevere, to give all self to Him.

>>> Express through devotion.

And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. (Acts 2:42 NKJV)

God loves every person, only those choose to be near Him that will experience him.

People who keep in touch with God daily are the one who relied on.

Prayer is a deepest expression to Jesus. There are depths in God's love that we can embrace. Grow in our devotion.

Must Listen to It !

The song that inspired me to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth. Also inspired me to play my guitar, but starting with simple chords of G, C, D. the Lord will guide me through if I prayerfully, purposefully, powerfully & patiently in living God's way. :)


Be Thou my vision, be Thou my joy
My providence and my reward
Be Thou the wisdom that I employ
To trade my worth for Yours

Be Thou my refuge, be Thou my strength
Should my confession err
My heart's sure whisper assuring then
And trust Your every word

Be Thou exalted
Be Thou exalted, Jesus, forever
Be Thou exalted, forever

Be Thou my passion, be Thou my zeal
That I may offer Thee
No great procession or vain appeal
But my sincerity

Hallelujah to the Name of all names
Hallelujah, to the God be all praise
Ever holy, worthy
Be Thou exalted, always

New year with new furnitures

Back into my pigeon hole. It's my hostel...!!! Well, still another 6 months before I leave this home. Stayed for almost 3 years d to be exact. Loads of pleasant and unpleasant memories. But I will always keep it in my heart. :)

this is my room, the bed with purple bedsheet is mine. :)

its all cleaned up! 

haha, me and my stuff! 

Distractions

Frustrating!
Frustrating!
Frustrating!

Feel noxious, stomach uneasy and heart ache! I know something is wrong but where went wrong? Is it my conscience? Is the Holy Spirit telling me something?

Whats wrong with me?

Bonjour! An-yo haesaeyo! Greetings! Ola!

All I want is Jesus to be in my heart always and allow Holy Spirit to dwell in my heart to lead me the life that God has planned for me. I am thankful and grateful that all who love and have loved me. I love you all too❤❤ all because He has first love me and that I could love you all too. Muacks!!

Let me share little bit of myself tonight! Hahahahaha, preserving myself after been through rough medication and treatments these pass few months. Am glad God has watch over me throughout the effects of the meds.

Tcare! ❤

❤ the clingy one

Whole day in the mall, Adriel has been very clingy to me. Wherever I go, he must hold my hands and wont let go. Glad that he is treasuring the little time I have with him. Am grateful that day by day, the Lord grants healing and restoration upon his life. Keep the faith!

❤ on Christmas eve

If I see Jesus this day face to face, and He look into me directly, what kind of look would be in His eyes?
Will I deny Him just like Peter did? Lord, I pray that this child's heart will always have a room for you. Pray that she will devote herself to you be it in good and bad times. She is a girl of less words but has big heart for you, Lord.

Forgive me Lord for the things that I have done and yet done. In this beautiful and peaceful night, I seek for your presence Lord. Take care of those who need you Lord. Listen to their cry, mourn and grief, may your love fills and surrounds them with your divine protection. Continue to be with us as we continue to adore that You are a Great and Almighty God. You're the Bright Morning Star. Use me mightily for Your kingdom Lord, let me be your salt and light and that I can be your earthly example to others too. Turn my darkness into light. Let the true meaning of Christmas is all about you. The birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ! Let your grace and mercy be upon us Lord. All these I pray in Jesus name, Amen!

Rachel ❤ Jesus

It's a Tang Yuen Day

My very first experience to make tang yuen on my own. *pats on my back* hehehehe.... Though it may sounds silly to people but am really glad that Amy taught me how to make it. So glad and inspired.!!